There is a museum exhibit opening soon regarding sex - there has been quite the uproar about it from parents - and I don't understand it. Here is a link to the article.
As I said - I don't understand the uproar. The museum has put age restrictions in place for this, and to be honest - by the time they are 16 (the age for unaccompanied children) they already KNOW a lot of this stuff. Whether they have learnt it from their parents, their teachers in class, or their friends is the question.
If my kids were 12, I would be heading down there as soon as possible to give them a chance to learn more.
Sex is a natural part of life - heck, without it MOST of us wouldn't be here. I grew up in a very open household, where my mother answered our questions honestly. She gave age appropriate answers, and we were always encouraged to ask questions if we had any.
I learnt about menstruation at a very young age - much younger than most. My friends and I ended up talking about it after our sex ed class in Grade 5 - and then came to school the next day and told me that their moms told them they weren't allowed to talk to me about it - and that I lied. Girls/women didn't bleed from their genitals monthly, and they didn't know why I would say something like that.
I couldn't understand why their mothers would tell them that (heck, we had JUST learnt about it in sex-ed - it wasn't like I came to school spewing all this stuff out of nowhere). I can't imagine a mom actually LYING about it - take the opportunity to educate them so that WHEN they get their first period they won't think they are dying.
I also believe that sex education is more than just about sex. It needs to be an open dialogue between parents and children from the time they are born - and this begins with the parent. When your teaching children their body parts - use the proper names. Penis, Scrotum, Vulva, Vagina, Bum. There is nothing wrong with the proper names, and if people used them more there wouldn't be such a stigma or embarassment about them. You don't call a nose a winkle do you? Penis - Vagina - I can say it without embarassment. Kids explore their bodies - pretty much every diaper change Kyle grabs his penis - so I tell him what it is called, along with his scrotum and I did the same with Julien. The boys are practically attached to me as I am going to the bathroom - they know that I don't have a penis, they know that I have a period (they don't understand yet, but why would I lie to them - when I was asked what it was I simply replied that mommies get what is called a period and it helps them to have a baby when the time is right - simple answer, he moved on)
Start young - really - it is easy. The more you talk about it in daily life, the easier it is. If you wait until you think they are ready to have "the talk" - not only is it embarassing for them and you - you will most likely be too late.
I agree. My son (4) saw me going to the bathroom and I had my period and saw the pad in my underwear. "Why are you wearing diapers mommy? Did you poo your pants?" lol. I answered pretty much exactly what you did... women get a period sometimes to help them make a baby. It doesn't hurt and it's totally normal. I don't think he's traumatized :)
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I'm not sure how I feel. I think yes, parents need to be more open and honest with kids about everything, but is a public museum the best place to have an exhibit like this? I'm not sure. I would feel best if I could wander through the exhibit before I went with any teen or kid - because then I'd know what to expect, if I agree with any of it, and how to prepare myself for the conversation that followed.
ReplyDeleteThankfully, my boys are still young, and, to date - haven't seemed interested in finding out anything of this topic haha. We have just had very basic conversations about bodies and stuff. When they are ready, we'll chat.
Wow. Great post. We're pretty open with Little One. I get a lot of flack from some of the other mothers. We live on a small island and in a small rural community. I'm a bit too open/honest for most. LOL! If Little One asks me questions, I answer them as honestly (and age appropriately) as I can. When she was 2, she was saying things like "Girls have vaginas and boys have penises, right Mom?" We never shied away from stuff like that and unlike my friends, I didn't give her alternate names for the anatomy like "girls have cupcakes and boys have turtles". What?!?! LOL
ReplyDeleteRecently, friends have had babies and I explained everything to Little One in easy terms. She has seen photos of my friend's water birth and it was neat to see her reaction from seeing my friends growing belly and the result being a brand new baby to love.
As for the museum exhibit...I still have to read the article! ;) I'll reply with a comment on that later! xo
I believe in being honest with the kids, such as the pad example. However I rather keep the monitoring of it in R home. An exhibit such as this I have no interest in.
ReplyDeleteI am open and honest with my kids about everything too - I think it is VERY important.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you and this is such a good post. By the time our kids that are younger then 10 get to that certain age they will already know about it, there's no denying it or trying to hide it from them. Being honest with your kids is the best thing you can do so that they feel comfortable enough to come to you about sex and whatever else they might have a question about.
ReplyDeleteI believe that you need to teach children early in words they could understand.
ReplyDeleteI am so with you! If you slowly work into it, you're honest with your children and you explain that it's all NORMAL it will go better. I don't want our girls to learn it from a teacher, I want them to have already heard the facts from me. I don't want them to feel uncomfortable asking me a question or worse yet be afraid to tell me something happened because we've never approached the subject. In the day and age we live, parents should be thankful for the ability to take their kids to exhibits like that for factual information.
ReplyDeleteI admit, i am the shy and quiet parent, i am horrible with finding the right words or way to say things without mumbling or getting flustered..it's easier for me to give the girls age appropriate books to get them asking the questions etc..I handle it more easily that way..and also then the info is right there for them if they need it again..
ReplyDeleteMy son has started asking more questions lately but I have no intention of making up stories. I'll just tell him like it is and hope he gets it. There was a lot of ridiculous stories on this though, especially the guy from the Sun. Everyone's looking for page views by pushing against it, lol!
ReplyDeleteI heard about this on the news the other day.
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