My father died almost 19 years ago. I have been through the grieving process and handled the everyday emotions that go with the loss of a loved one.
I managed through buying a house, planning a wedding and having babies. There were difficult moments, but I got through it.
Today, while visiting an old friend, I had a very unexpected emotional moment. She had grabbed an old scrapbook she had made while we were in high school and brought it up for me to look at.
I went through a few pages, and then my eyes settled on a date - July 21 1995 and that was it. I started to cry. I didn't even really get through reading what she had written - just that her best friends father had died.
It has been so long since a moment like this has come. Most of the time now, I am prepared for them as they will happen on his birthday, Christmas, anniversary of the day he died etc....but this, completely unexpected.
It'a amazing how after all this time, I still feel the loss. I am good at pushing it to the back, and going through life - but in the end, that feeling never really goes away - it just kind of gets pushed aside for awhile.
hugs friend. :(
ReplyDeleteI know the feeling. We just have to hold on as best we can, and lean on our friends for support when the inevitable wave slaps us in the face.
Mine are usually right when I wake up from a vivid dream. I don't know how I would take holding a book in my hands and feeling those feelings. :(
thanks friend :) having a wonderful support system is truly an amazing thing
DeleteLoss is a hard thing. I lost my Mom a couple years ago and every now and then something pops up and bring the grief back to the surface. When it happens I try to reflect on a good memory that we shared together to get through it. Hugs. (Judy Cowan)
ReplyDeletethanks so much for your comment Judy!
DeleteIts so difficult isn't it? I lost my mom in 2009 and sometimes the emotion is so raw and I just can't believe that she is gone. Most of the time, like you, it can be pushed aside, but life is never the same; it just gets easier to live with.
ReplyDeletevery sorry for your loss, thank you for stopping by and sharing
DeleteI can relate totally. My dad died in 1992, exactly one month after my 19th birthday. He has missed out on the same things as your dad, my wedding, the birth of my sons…too much! I miss him every day. He was such a good man and it still angers me that he is gone when I know there are other people still on this earth that are horrible dads or people. He should be here, not them.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss; thank you for your comment, and for sharing your feelings
DeleteAww, so sorry for your loss! I sure understand how you feel, I lost my Dad 12 years ago and I still miss him every single day!
ReplyDeletethanks for stopping by - sorry for your loss as well
DeleteReading your post and your comments has really helped me feel...not so alone. I lost my mom in 2009 and still have these random moments when I will tear up. Like, one year it was at my dad's sister's 65th surprise birthday party. She walked in and everyone cheered, shouting Happy Birthday! And I bawled my eyes out. Anyway, I am really sorry for your loss and just wanted to thank you for this post.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment. I am so sorry you lost your mother; it really can sneak up at any time
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