When They Say Nothing....or

....when they say they hate you. Lets face it, they don't always look at us so sweetly and with love in their eyes

It's inevitable, really, that at some point your kids are going to tell you they hate you.  It could be that you gave them the wrong coloured cup, or you gave them a fork instead of a spoon. Maybe, you wouldn't let them play outside in -20 with no socks/boots/snow suit..or you made them leave the middle of the road while they were investigating a dead worm (true story) They don't care that you're making sure they aren't hit by a car or anything. Whatever the reason, the words are bound to tumble from their mouths.

The first time my oldest told me he hated me, I wanted to cry. I thought I was a failure as a mother (well, sometimes I still think that - don't we all?).  But then, it became a regular occurrence.  I realized that a 4 year old doesn't even REALLY know what "hate" means.

In the beginning, I would respond with "I am sorry you are upset right now, but mommy loves you" and as I got tired of saying those words it ended up morphing into "that's alright....you can go hate me in your room" as I moved on with whatever I was doing.

At 7, he now has a little more understanding of the word "hate" (but still not fully) and it is much more rare to hear it come out of his mouth directed towards a person (well, towards me....his brother hears it almost every day)