Ice Cream Memories From 20 Years Ago

20 years ago today, I went for ice cream with my cousin. You wouldn't think that a single trip for ice cream would have such a lasting effect on you, but this one did. When we arrived back home, my father was dead.  I didn't know it at that moment, just that my mom said the ambulance had taken him to the hospital - she thought he'd had a heart attack.

After arriving at the hospital, we were taken to a small, quiet room (a clue to getting bad news, they didn't make us wait in the common waiting room) and were told he had died.

I was 14 years old.  20 years later and I still remember the exact events of the day, and all that happened leading up to those moments.

My cousin and I had gone horse back riding with a friend that day, and then back to my friends for a swim.  My cousin stayed at my place for dinner, my mom made taco's.  We wanted ice cream for dessert, so I yelled down the stairs goodbye to my dad, and she and I walked to the ice cream place; I ordered a mint chip ice cream cone.  We walked home, and half way there I had to stop and throw my ice cream away.  I felt like I had been punched in the stomach.  We sat for a few minutes and then continued home.  I must have heard sirens (we were close enough that I would have) but never in a million years would I have thought they were going to my house.

Coming down the street, a car stopped and my mom jumped out and threw my cousin into the vehicle...she was petrified that I would get home and see the ambulance outside.....she had to get to me first. The paramedics had left by the time we got home though.

20 years of memories that he didn't get to be a part of.  20 years of wishing things had ended differently.

20 years later and I still think of him everyday.....20 years later and I still miss him as much as I did then.  20 years later and some memories still have me in tears.